I actually consider the Devil card a good warning card to receive in a reading. It’s a card that speaks to being imprisoned by one’s desires. Above, we see that the mermaid is caged in a cell by a lock that’s actually unlocked upon closer inspection. Yet our mermaid doesn’t try to free herself–she’s far too lost in her desires for the treasure close by.
It’s human to want things; to seek what we don’t have. It’s important though, to not let those wants take over our lives. I am honestly not surprised to see the Devil as the card of the week, as I’ve been nothing but a slave to everything I’ve ever wanted. I am someone who becomes consumed by whatever I want in life and this week I’ve wanted so many things to change and all I’ve done is focused on those wants. I’ve made little progress in terms of what I can change, but this card says is that those changes can be made once I free myself from this self-imposed prison.
The Devil is card that reminds you to watch out for being entangled by anything that you can free yourself from. It’s about being too enchanted by desires, material things–basically anything that sparkles and shines. It’s completely understandable to want what we want, we just can’t let it take over our lives…
Happy Happy New Years!
I wish you all an amazing 2020 full of success, happiness, and healing. There needs to be more of that stuff this year…
2019 was quite the challenge because of so many big changes that occurred in my life–but there was more growth and progress towards where I needed to be in life. I never like to admit how much I am a slave to comfort; it usually requires a change in circumstance to push me forward.
I won’t lie–most times I want to hide under a rock instead of facing whatever challenge is looming over me. But I made it through every tough test that fell across my path last year. Every hard task that I faced got crossed off the list and I wanted to run from all of them. Most times, I couldn’t shake the anxiety. But I feel very proud of myself for making it through the year, despite feeling nervous absolutely every day. Everything scared me, everything was a lot–nothing came easy.
I’ve come to realize that I’ll never unlock the secret to courage. I’ll always have to find a way through it. Every trick, quote, tip I tried never worked–never made me feel less nervous. Perhaps it was wrong of me to assume that there was something out there to find.
Even though I lack any answers, one thing I do want for 2020 is not to spend so much time worrying about things to come. I worry about what I have to do weeks and months ahead. I worry that I can’t make it through the things I have to do. I dwell over and over about everything I can worry about it.
For 2020…all I want is to focus on today, I only want today in my mind.
I do have resolutions and things I want to achieve for this year, but more than anything else, I want to keep my mind on today. I don’t want to worry about everything that hasn’t come to pass yet. I want to figure it out now since I worry that I can’t work it out then. But worrying about future drains all of the energy from this moment. It’s nearly impossible for me to remain in the current moment without drifting off into a possible future.
One day at a time–without a worry about any other time but today. It feels nearly impossible but that’s what I plan to focus on for 2020. I would like to look back and not think about the times worrying but the actual times…
The more time you spend around me, you might begin to wonder if I have an angry side. I don’t really show it to the outside world because I think that there’s enough negativity and I try not to add to it if I can. But I’m only human, and sometimes I have to say no to sticking my head in the sand.
I’ve had a situation in my life where people aren’t listening–people just don’t give a fuck. It’s tough sometimes because when people don’t care (or give the appearance that they don’t) it feels like you are being shamed for standing up for yourself. Others don’t want you to rock the boat because that would mean that they have to do something about it and the only thing they want to do is sit on their phone and waste away. But at the same time, I didn’t ask to be in this situation and I’m doing everything in my power to put an end to it.
Sometimes, it feels like people don’t want you to fight back. I’m sure I feel this way in part because of my perspective, but man, it really does feel like this sometimes. I don’t want to be pushed aside because I’m standing up for myself. No one knows how hard it is for me to stand up for myself, and it makes me really mad when I gather all of this courage and am shamed for it.
For the upcoming week, I drew the 7 of Ghosts. This card parallels the non-Halloween version of this card, the 7 of cups. Picking this card couldn’t have been more timely, as I recently had an epiphany about how out of touch I’ve been with reality. I’ve become more conscious to how negative my thoughts are and how dark my reality can be in comparison to actual life.
This is a card that represents avoiding delusions of grandeur and not be grounded in real life. The 7 of Ghosts also means having a wild imagination and living in a dream world.
Illusions aren’t always fanciful and amazing–I find that they can often be rather terrifying. Fake thoughts can hold such power over of our lives and cause us to procrastinate and stall. It’s important to be able to decipher what is an overactive or healthy imagination.
To be honest, I’m no longer able to tell what is an adequate amount of dreaming and what is self-deception.
My goal for this week is to focus on being grounded in the present moment, and to not procrastinate on any task that I have this week. I think the secret to not having idle dreams is to always be working on bringing them to life. I don’t want to overdo it, but at the same time, I’d rather be overdoing it in reality instead of overdoing with toxic thoughts…
I’ve allowed life to pass me by and I’ve been stuck in one hell of a rut. I’ve lost my way–any sense of direction. I want to be creative again, even if it’s simple, small stuff.
Even if I’m just scribbling doodles on a piece of scrap paper, I just want to be true to my artistic nature.
I’m annoyed with myself from wasting so much time focusing on the wrong things in life. I can’t get that time back and all I can think about is how many great ideas I lost by not giving them the time of day. Being an adult is about rediscovering what is important to you, and I’ve made the wrong things important to me for a long time.
I don’t want anything tangible anymore, I just want to make stuff again…
-Images from Pixabay.com
I figured now would be the perfect time to whip out my Halloween Tarot deck by Kipling West. This deck is full of inspiration for Halloween–a whirl of colorful and strange characters that suck you into their spooky world. It’s a place full of magic and intrigue.
In terms of a question, I just asked the cards for a general overview card. I didn’t harbor a specific inquiry or have anything in particular that I wanted an answer for. When I have no clear direction–I tend to draw one card.
5 of Bats (Reversed) is the first card for this season. Traditionally–the 5 of Bats (or Swords) means an ending of conflict or a resolution of some kind. Something that you struggling with will be resolved; forgiveness will be granted.
However, the interpretation of the 5 of Bats has its own meaning. Reversed, the 5 of Bats means Empty Victory. Foolish Pride. Weakness. Refusing to accept bullying.
When I receive readings that are less than stellar–I actually don’t view them in a bad light. I am thankful for the chance to slow down and avoid problems. With a card like this, I interpret it as a caution to take a step back and not allow pride or weakness to lead to an empty victory.
There are so many things I want to accomplish, to “win” at and I’ve absolutely caught myself creating waste from haste. I am grateful for the reminder to just slow down and not allow pride or weakness to get in the way and lead to self-sabotage. It’s so easy for my emotions to take control when there’s something out there that I really want.
-Cooking with my cast-iron cauldron (I’ve had it for a year, haven’t tried it once)
-Playing around with my apple butter recipe (Though it always turns out too sweet)
-Breaking out the giant tubs of Halloween decor (I prefer being vomited in Halloween)
-Sharing a few Halloween poems that I’m writing (Anything to evoke the season)
-Being honest with my debt issues, no longer being in denial about my problems (Denial can be really tricky for me to navigate most times).
-Starting to write my stories again (even if it’s crap, just write)
-Spending time with old friends (I hate realizing that some people I might see once a year)
-Getting lost in any book (seriously, ANY book)
-Living life by my own definitions (trying incredible hard not to lose my authentic self…a true struggle for me)