All posts tagged: diary

Halloween Tarot for the Week–7 of Ghosts

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For the upcoming week, I drew the 7 of Ghosts. This card parallels the non-Halloween version of this card, the 7 of cups. Picking this card couldn’t have been more timely, as I recently had an epiphany about how out of touch I’ve been with reality. I’ve become more conscious to how negative my thoughts are and how dark my reality can be in comparison to actual life. This is a card that represents avoiding […]

A Few Things I’m Looking Forward To…

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  -Cooking with my cast-iron cauldron (I’ve had it for a year, haven’t tried it once) -Playing around with my apple butter recipe (Though it always turns out too sweet) -Breaking out the giant tubs of Halloween decor (I prefer being vomited in Halloween) -Sharing a few Halloween poems that I’m writing (Anything to evoke the season)  -Being honest with my debt issues, no longer being in denial about my problems (Denial can be really […]

Struggling with Negative Thoughts

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For the past few months, I’ve noticed my anxiety steadily increasing. It’s gone from random thoughts here and there to a continuous sense of dread and panic. My heart feels heavy in my chest and my shoulders are rigid, stiff. I’ve been making every effort to combat the emotions, to focus on anything other than the fear. I know now that I’m going to really have to fight to overcome the emotions because they won’t […]

Sticking By Tough Decisions

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It’s been a challenging week in regards to staying true to some major decisions I made a few months back. It can be tough to make big changes for a variety of reasons; a lot of times life will not welcome these bold moves for one reason or another. When you try to take a step forward, there will be obstacles to try to push you back a few paces. I made a choice a […]

Taking Back my Projects

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For the past few months, I have been in survival mode. It’s only been about making it through the day, just completing the most essential of tasks. I am starting to realize that I wasn’t very good at handling my disappointment with a few people in my life, and I bottled everything up and hibernated. I gave them all of my power, and I allowed them to take complete control of my life. I know […]

Saturday Night Musings

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There’s something about the night in summer that is more calming to me than the nights of winter. Throughout this past season, I felt like the nights were far too long and dark. The endless night stretched towards infinity, threatening at any instance to swallow me up. But I feel at peace now, so grateful for the changing season of both nature and life. I’m so thankful that things don’t have to remain the same, […]

Healing from Dysfunction

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It’s been a few weeks since I’ve worked my crappy job, every day I have literally woken up in relief. I feel at peace to not have to be subjected to such a toxic establishment and am eternally grateful for the normalcy of my new job. People don’t know how bad it was, and I don’t want to bring it up and or rehash the past or anything. I just feel so grateful to be […]

Made it to Sunday

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WHEW, what a week. It’s been an emotional one for sure, and it has required all of my patience, inner strength, and courage to make it through. I’ve had to deal with a few moody people. Don’t get me wrong, people don’t always have to be happy and perfect. I get it myself–we are all human. I just have a hard time when I didn’t do anything to upset or trouble them, but I am […]

A Lesson in Nerves

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Today was more than a regular Tuesday for me. I have some goals of mine coming down the pipeline, but it isn’t things that I can just ask for. I can think of a few current wishes that would require me to be selected, not things that I can pick myself. I plan to go into more detail later on. I don’t wish to be so vague, I have to wait to see what happens. […]

Wanna Hide Tonight

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Of course, it’s Sunday evening. Whenever I look, it always the end of a day. I only want to stay in my room and hide for the rest of the week. I’m anxious because I have so many changes that I am working on implementing in my life. I get highly annoyed with myself because it’s like I want things to stay the same crappy way that they have always been. I know this isn’t […]