I’ve allowed life to pass me by and I’ve been stuck in one hell of a rut. I’ve lost my way–any sense of direction. I want to be creative again, even if it’s simple, small stuff.
Even if I’m just scribbling doodles on a piece of scrap paper, I just want to be true to my artistic nature.
I’m annoyed with myself from wasting so much time focusing on the wrong things in life. I can’t get that time back and all I can think about is how many great ideas I lost by not giving them the time of day. Being an adult is about rediscovering what is important to you, and I’ve made the wrong things important to me for a long time.
I don’t want anything tangible anymore, I just want to make stuff again…
-Images from Pixabay.com
-Cooking with my cast-iron cauldron (I’ve had it for a year, haven’t tried it once)
-Playing around with my apple butter recipe (Though it always turns out too sweet)
-Breaking out the giant tubs of Halloween decor (I prefer being vomited in Halloween)
-Sharing a few Halloween poems that I’m writing (Anything to evoke the season)
-Being honest with my debt issues, no longer being in denial about my problems (Denial can be really tricky for me to navigate most times).
-Starting to write my stories again (even if it’s crap, just write)
-Spending time with old friends (I hate realizing that some people I might see once a year)
-Getting lost in any book (seriously, ANY book)
-Living life by my own definitions (trying incredible hard not to lose my authentic self…a true struggle for me)
I’ve been wanting to give my blog direction for a few months, but have struggled to come up with a clear direction.
My problem is always that I am over-inspired, and find many things profoundly interesting. I love living in the information age, it is a lot to take in from the internet but my curious mind is always satisfied (or terrified from what’s out there).
Despite finding many great pieces of knowledge out there, I’ve struggled with a deep sadness–depression. So many parts of my life are lagging behind, I’m just stuck. But what I am doing is taking what I learn every day from this world and trying to apply it to help push my life in a better direction.
A quote from Jim Rohn touches on this perfectly:
“Don’t let your learning lead to knowledge. Let your learning lead to action.”
I am a big fan of the Biographics channel and would recommend checking out as many of their videos as you can. I’ve always enjoyed the videos from host Simon Whistler, he seems to delight in learning things for the sake of learning as much as I do. Sometimes I feel like the only nerd out there who wants to feed her brain with as much random and interesting knowledge as she can. Simon seems to be the same, which gives me hope that there are others out there.
With the Biographics channel, you’ll find interesting biographies on a variety of eccentric people. Well, anyone who accomplished anything crazy came off eccentric in one way or another, which also gives me hope that it’s ok to be strange and weird.
Circling back to Elon’s video, what I found strange about him was how he doesn’t allow the impossibility of the obstacle to affect him. Well, even if he does, he still sets out to create the future he wants–which I really found inspiring. Every business idea of his was shot down by the haters who said it couldn’t be done. If I was starting a business with a big idea and a slew of people spoke their disapproval, I’d really doubt myself and feel like I was probably making a bad mistake. But not Elon, when people said space travel couldn’t be handled by anyone other than NASA, well, look who got the contract from them to work on building rockets.
I think I connected with his story for many reasons, but one reason was how I often think that my ideas are dumb, even if no one says they are, I just really doubt myself and expect the worst. But Elon still has people who disagree with his vision and he is still bringing it to life. I think all of us can find such great inspiration in that.
Believing in our ideas, visions, and dreams are what help us to create the life we want.
An early Christmas present to myself, some creative healing!!
I don’t think I will ever be able to express my gratitude to Liz Gilbert for her incredible read, Big Magic.
I am about halfway through the book and have received more “Aha” moments than I can count. I find such connection Liz’s words–because they are so in touch with many thoughts that circulate throughout my own brain. She directly addresses so many of my own negative thoughts about living creativity and she does this in a precise manner. (Ex: my constant worry that I am not original enough). This makes it very clear to me that she has dealt with many of vicious thoughts that I have but she is strong and overcomes them. She doesn’t try to destroy the fear that always shadows the creative, she expects fear but doesn’t allow it to take over.
Her battles with her own insecurities has thought me that there is no level of success that can fully strip you of those fears. They will on some level, always be there. The real sadness comes allowing the insecurities to dominate you, until you lose all ability to create anything. I love writing but also any form of craft, of art.
And I’ve allowed it to nearly all be taken away from, because I was simply too afraid to create. I find that to be really sad. I can’t get those years back but thankfully, I am still alive and have another shot to try. Trying doesn’t mean aspiring for material and financial success, trying means just living a creative experience. I love that Liz reminds us that we are all creative beings and she doesn’t subscribe to that elitist stance that only the most talented artists are allowed to be creative. To be honest, my favorite artists (not that my opinion really matters, I am a true nobody) are the people who aren’t perfect, they are just wholly themselves.
Reading this far into Big Magic, I was touched by how grounded and clear Liz is about living creatively, without having to become that archetype of the tortured artist. I think we need more books like this, and I can’t wait to finish this book and continue being lost in her words. I love the idea of being creative from a healthy place, not hurting yourself for the sake of your art.