I have a great love for this tarot cards–a set that I actually picked up a few years back at Spirit Halloween. Sadly, there is no guide for these cards which is a great shame, because I find them to be quite interesting. The art is cohesive–linking all of the cards together yet original. You wouldn’t expect cards that were probably sold for just being Halloween decor to be such a thoughtful set of cards but they are.
For this week I pulled the XVI–The Tower which is unsurprising for me considering how much anger I’ve gathered over the past few weeks, dealing with an upsetting situation. The tower is a card that represents chaos, upheaval, and sudden change. Usually with this card, you would see people falling out of the tower, representing a crappy situation about to happen, danger to watch out for, destruction. However, in this interpretation when have a menacing gargoyle that is full of life, looking down in a stormy evening. Here, we don’t have the burning building.
I interpret this card to be a warning card to not allow chaotic energy to take over. When I have a situation to work through, my emotions can get the best of me sometimes. I take this card as a message to breathe through it and not allow it become something destructive. Be cautious, keep control and focus, and do not let circumstances get out of hand.
I have an odd inclination that despite the frustration of this weekend–next week is going to end strong.
I have finally completed nearly all of my holiday shopping–I just want it to be over. This isn’t like me as I do enjoy giving gifts and surprising someone with a present. However, this year, I just haven’t felt it. I have completed the motions, fulfilled my obligations, but I am still waiting for that Christmasy feeling to take over.
The holidays have felt extremely contrived–entirely inauthentic.
I have despised everything to do with it: the shopping, the extra work engagements, the late nights wrapping and scribbling rushed Christmas cards. I want it all to be over, why can’t it just be January 1st, 2019?
It’s weird for me to feel this disconnected, it’s an alien sensation because I am all about any holiday. I usually prefer the break from the normal, boring weeks adulting. It’s such a joy to release my inner child to the movies, songs, and gift wrap.
I think part of the reason I’m off is that I have such a little time for my friends with my current work schedule. I can usually pick a gift for anyone, but this year I’m not sure what to buy anyone. My life is super unbalanced, and suddenly I have to many personal commitments when usually there is nothing but endless emails and fucking traffic.
I think the jump from the work extreme to the holiday extreme is what has gotten me–the lack of any sort of balance. I do not care for busyness, but everything about my life right now is so chaotic and intense. Sometimes, I would give anything to be back as a student sometimes. I had so much free time back then–even with the finals, lazy group partners, and complicated homework.
I just so want this chaotic season of my life to be over.