Of course, it’s Sunday evening.
Whenever I look, it always the end of a day.
I only want to stay in my room and hide for the rest of the week. I’m anxious because I have so many changes that I am working on implementing in my life. I get highly annoyed with myself because it’s like I want things to stay the same crappy way that they have always been. I know this isn’t the case, I want change. But when I think about all of the different factors that have to change, I get really nervous.
I can’t seem to control it.
I’m afraid that things are gonna fall apart, that the attempt of change will just be too tough. I worry that I’m going to make things worse than they already are. I’m afraid that I am never going to be able to figure it out, that things are going to stay as they are. I think this line of thinking comes from failing so much in my personal projects.
These projects sometimes seem like my only way out. And when they fail, I feel like I really have nothing after that.